Chapter Four

[theremedy]

Chapter Four

Present:
Hey there, Delilah.


The nurse greeted him with a smile as he came into the resident care facility. A place almost like a hospice… When the hospital gets too expensive, send your loved ones to die in comfort! As if anything could be comfortable about your loved ones dying. Usopp pushed the thought from his mind as he approached the reception desk and forced a smile for the pretty blond receptionist.

“Would you care to sign in please?” she asked, pushing a clipboard over. Usopp signed it carefully and hefted his guitar case making her smile brighten.

“Are you going to play then, Mr…” She peered at the name and a wrinkle formed between her brows. “Usopp.” She said. He didn’t like to use his last name, but maybe she was confused. Well he wasn’t worried about it.

“Yeah, is that okay?”

“Perfectly.” And she was all soft sunshine again. “I hope you have a nice visit.”

“Thanks, Miss Conis,” he said, eying the ID on her dress. She smiled, pinked a little and waved him through. The halls were quiet. Of course they were. A soothing off white compared to the blank white canvas of the regular hospital. He wasn’t feeling particularly soothed. He wanted to turn and walk back out the way he had come. But the sensation was duller than it had been when he’d forced himself to get on the bus and then peel himself out of it at the right stop. Sanji would never forgive him if he didn’t see Luffy—for all the good it would do.

He stopped before Luffy’s door, though, hesitating again. The door had been decorated with his name in colorful block letters, something Chopper and Chimney had come up with two years ago. He palmed the warm door knob and stepped in.

It was like a little suite and evidence of his friends…Luffy’s nakama and the other friends he’d picked up along the way. Photographs lined the walls. He could trace Luffy’s scant childhood up to five years ago, and then the photos were just of his friends, looking increasingly strained. Fresh flowers were on the table, probably sent from Robin who was conscientious about things like that and had sent flowers almost every week for three years. There were postcards from Brook. An elegant little clock from Vivi. Two recliner chairs with cupholders from Franky.

Sanji’s presence had worked into the fabric of said chairs, as well as the small row of lollipops sprayed on the nightstand. There were more in the drawer, Usopp knew. Zoro’s presence, too, loomed thick in the air even though he was never here. Or at least not that Usopp knew. Nami—well it was through her that he was here to begin with and not in some germ ridden hospital room. And as for himself…a photograph or two. Their emblem which he had made the end of that first terrifyingly awesome eight months. Other than that, not much.

And the wannabe King of the World himself…

Usopp dragged his eyes to look at the bed.

He barely looked like Luffy, at least not any version that was grinning brightly from the walls. He was pale as the snow piled up outside. His cheeks sunken in despite the feeding tubes. Every part of him was thin. His fingers, curled lightly against the deep red blanket, looked almost skeletal. Usopp wondered if they were cold. If Luffy could feel it. His chest rose softly with each breath and that was it. He had healed completely from when they’d found him. Doctors had said there was nothing physically wrong with him. He just—wouldn’t wake up.

Idiot. Usopp wanted to call him that. Say: ‘Hey, Luffy. Do you know how many meals you missed?’ But his tongue was glued to the roof of his mouth as usual. Talking to someone who had…who had checked out just seemed…kinda pointless really.

He sighed and set his guitar case down before sitting himself, squeaking his shoes against the floor. It made a muffled noise. Everything was kind of muffled here. Peaceful. If he was trapped here, he’d sleep forever, too. He sighed and leaned back, staring at Luffy's eyelids, willing them to open without any hope of them doing so. Come on, Luffy, you’re missing everything.

And if he did wake up, then what? They all apologized? Like that would even be good enough. In any case, Luffy didn’t open his eyes. His breathing didn’t change. Not even his fingers twitched. Usopp rested his head back against the wall and stared up at the ceiling. Someone had painted stars up there. Huh. Who had done that? And when? He saw Conis out in the hall out of the corner of his eye. He willed her to keep going but she stopped in front of the room and knocked lightly on the door frame before peeking in.

“Everything alright?” she said in a hushed voice. He forced a smile.

“Just fine.”

She returned the smile, which only seemed to deepen as she looked around the room.

“He’s well loved.”

Ha. Well guilted maybe. Well at least from one of his ‘nakama’. The idiotic long-nosed one.

“Yeah, thanks,” he said politely but also wanting her to leave. Damnit. He could only take so much.

“Let me know if you need anything.” And with that she moved back out again. Usopp relaxed, staring at Luffy until he couldn’t stand it. He was half tempted just to pick up his guitar case and book it. It wasn’t like Luffy's condition would change whether Usopp had seen him or not. He knew what happened when people got like this. They slept and then they died without even waking up once. Luffy was no exception. He was just stubborn.

“I’m going to leave, you ass,” he muttered. Luffy didn’t stir. “You’ll be alone.” It was a threat that felt bitter in his mouth and he closed his lips again. In any case it didn’t work. “Ah, I didn’t mean it.” He rubbed his neck. Silence. He sighed and let his hand drop. It was just like talking to a rock.

Luffy breathed in, Luffy breathed out. The clock ticked. Someone coughed in another room. Usopp nudged his guitar case over with his shoe. Then sighed and picked it up again. Opened it. The only guitar he’d ever owned. It was nostalgic now. Painful. He almost hoped it broke so he could stop looking at it. He sighed and pulled it out, trying not to think about everything so much.

He took his time tuning the strings, cursing inwardly when he absently looked for a leg jerk. When the guitar was tuned he tried to decide what to play, strumming little tunes, before finally settling on Delilah Girl. A song perfect for Kaya. If he’d realized it sooner, he would have played it at her wedding. Wouldn’t that have been a joke? She would just give him that sympathetic look. Or, worse, would look hurt. Would pity him.

Usopp tried not to think about that either as he quietly sang along, trying not to sound as bitter as he felt. But he couldn’t go on. Man, Luffy didn’t deserve this. He absently strummed the last cord.

“You always play that song,” said Nami and Usopp jerked upright to see her standing in the doorway. She looked put together for someone that must have just flown in. Unless she’d been here for a while.

“Hey.” He set the guitar aside and stood to hug her. She smelled good like she always did and he noticed she had a glass orchid in her hair. “You look good.” He touched a petal gently. “Christmas present?”

“What?” she reached up and made a face when she touched it. “Something like that.”

“Oh, your boss give it to you?”

“Yeah.” Nami pulled away and sat on the edge of the bed, folding one leg over the other. “That creep.”
And she stuck out her tongue. He couldn’t tell if she was telling the truth or not but it didn’t matter. She glanced at Luffy, her hand resting near his. He wondered if she would have held it if she’d been alone. She did reach out, though, and trace her fingers through his scraggly bangs.

“He needs a hair cut,” she said idly. “Prop him up, would you?”

“What? Now?”

“Why not?” She was watching him, expression even more inscrutable than Zoro could manage. He shrugged.

“Just seems sudden that’s all.”

“Does it?” She stood. “Prop him up, would you? I’ll get Conis.”

“Conis…?” But Nami was already out the door. What did Conis have to do with anything? It took Usopp until he was sitting on the edge of the bed to realize this was such a cheap shot. Damnit, Nami. This wasn’t fair by any definition of the word. Usopp gazed into Luffy’s pale face and had a faint surge of I-can’t-touch-my-comatose-friend-because-I’m-afraid-of-emotions-I-can’t-handle disease.

“Haircut my ass. I see what you’re up to.” He listened for the sound of footsteps in the hall that would betray Nami’s approach with the traitorous Conis. If he snuck out now…

He’d be even more of a coward than usual. He could manage that much at least. Usopp shifted the tubes so that they wouldn’t tangle and gently lifted him. Luffy’s head flopped limply back against his shoulder and to the side so that Usopp felt the ghost of warm breath on his neck. He was warm, too, and his skin wasn’t tacky either like Usopp’s got sometimes if he slept too long. And he was light. God, was he. Like a bundle of sticks. How long had it been this way? Was it normal? Even if it wasn’t there was nothing the hell they could do about it.

He rested his cheek against Luffy’s head, feeling years older than him even though they were the same age.

“Wake up, idiot.” Or die. But he pushed the traitorous thought away, hating himself for even thinking it. He didn’t want him to die. He didn’t. He wanted him to wake up. He wanted to turn back time and change the way things had happened. Change what he’d done and what he’d said. Convinced Zoro somehow that it was going to go badly. They hadn’t set out for this to happen… It just…had…

There were the footsteps in the hall now. Nami’s authoritative tread that probably filled the halls and the sleeping patients with a sense of impending doom. Except for Luffy maybe, who, if he really could hear anything in that shell of a brain, was probably grinning. That thought made his heart squeeze more than anything and he straightened as she came in, Conis behind her pushing a cart that had two bowls, the smaller one filled with water, a comb and a pair of gleaming scissors.

“You’ll get hair everywhere if you do it here,” Usopp said. And that would just get itchy.

“Don’t worry,” Conis said. “I’ll bring in some fresh linen.” And with that and a fond smile, she left without a word. Nami pushed the cart closer to the bed and sat, wetting the comb and then taking Luffy’s chin with her fingers, pulling his head forward and guiding it to loll on his chest. She seemed to sigh then as she pushed the comb through his hair. It parted easily. He was well loved. Well taken care of. He swallowed and blinked as his eyes burned, staring at a corner of the wall that wasn’t plastered with painful photographs. Nami finished combing and took up the scissors, snipping the soft black strands of his bangs so they fell dark on the maroon coverlet.

“After Christmas,” Nami said, her voice soft but filling the room. “We’re taking him off.”

“Off?”

She gestured to the feeding tube.

Oh.

Wait— But—

“Oi, Nami, he needs that.”

She gave him a look. Oh, right. She knew that. So then why—?

“It’s possible if he gets hungry enough he’ll wake up on his own.”

“What bullshit textbook did you read that out of,” Usopp said, sounding harsher than he meant to. Nami said nothing and the implications hit him. What she was talking about. To finally… But still— He wasn’t ready for that! He’d gotten used to this and he—couldn’t move on that easily! Just after Christmas? Was she crazy? Heartless?

No, even he knew better than that. She worked hard to keep him in here. To pay for it. Everyone did, as much as they could but she did the most. But—still—! Oh! Oh, right! Maybe--

“Did they raise the price? Look, I can get a job—”

“Usopp…”

“No seriously! I mean I’ve gotta be able to get something good. Or…well something. I already have a bachelors so it’s not as if I even need another degree. In fact I’m probably a genius in my field. I could probably make twenty grand a week easy. Yeah! That’s it. I mean, after all I am world renowned for--”

“Stop,” Nami said. “It’s not about money.”

“Then what…?”

She didn’t answer right away, just lifted Luffy’s chin.

“Hold that there,” she said. He swallowed and did as he was told, feeling the line of Luffy’s jaw under his fingers. Nami pushed his head a little to the side and started trimming the area around his ears. Her eyes were hard, Usopp saw, but glassy, too. He looked away again. Why did he have to be the one to be here and do this? Couldn’t it be anyone else?

“What kind of life is this?” Nami said, curling her fingers over Luffy’s ear as if to sweep away stray hairs. “It’s been five years. He can’t even stay still for five minutes. You know…he’s always been stupidly reckless about dying.”

“Not like this!” And how could she even say that word? Like it was a done deal! He hadn’t agreed to anything!

“Then like what, Usopp!” Nami snapped, suddenly fierce. “What do you want me to do? Keep him like this?! For how long?!”

He flinched. Yes, of course! For however long it took! Usopp didn’t want him to— How could they even talk like this when he was right there between them? Still warm and breathing? If they let him— If they just took out the tube he’d—he’d just starve to death and Sanji would never— would never—

He knew about it. Sanji knew.

Oh, man.

Warm wet dropped on his fingers. Nami was resting her forehead against Luffy’s and…and she was… Usopp slipped his arm around her and pulled her close, squishing Luffy between them and rested his chin on her hair, blinking so he wouldn’t cry into it.

Wake up, you idiot. Wake up.



Past:

Holdin’ out for a hero…

Everything is black, he can barely breathe, his tongue feels like an old sock and it feels like tiny men are trying to saw his brain in half. He groans or means to but only a ragged breath comes out. Did he drink something funny? Is this some weird practical joke? He tries to move. His ankles feel heavier than usual and they clank. Waitaminute… Clank?

It all came back to him in an adrenaline spiked rush. Luffy. Zoro. The arena. The long red nose and the gorilla guy. And the club. Oh shit. Oh shit oh shit oh shit. He tries to force his body to cooperate. Tries to squirm. Open his eyes. Anything.

Oh god he’s blind— No this can’t be happening. He squeezes his none functioning eyes shut. Wake up. Come on, Usopp. This is just a nightmare! He is so sure that he knows if he pinches himself it probably won’t hurt at all! Right?! He pinches himself.

…oh god he’s awake.

He whimpers.

A low purring growl comes out of the darkness and Usopp twists to bolt upright, bright flashes blistering behind his eyes as something clangs.

When he comes to again, he tries to breathe as soft as possible, keeping his eyes wide and willing them to work. Work, damnit! That is the first step. Slowly, they start to work and he can pick out details in different shades of black. What he banged his head into is a black square—and there are bars coming down from that square—all around him.

A cage. He’s in a cage. Oh god he’s going do die.

Fortunately he’s in a small cage so whatever it is that growled isn’t trapped in there with him but given the current situation that’s hardly reassuring. His ankles are chained together, too, though his hands are free. Again. Great! Wonderful! Life had to be kidding him. There is no way this can happen outside of some Jean-Claude van Damm movie and he isn’t the muscle bound hero. Hell, he isn’t even the sidekick. He’s going to die.

No he’s not.

Of course he’s not.

Who dies like this?

Not run of the mill Seattle kids whose only claim to fame was he was once chosen to understudy as Cyrano de Bergerac without even trying. Without even being asked, really, but that’s another story and not one involved him being stuck in a cage in the dark.

“Hello?” he tries, but his voice comes out in a whisper. He clears his throat and tries again a little louder. “Hello?”

The growl comes again and he realizes that it’s probably not a good idea to draw attention to himself in case that thing finds him. Oh god this can’t be happening. It can’t. He refuses to believe it. He wants to say there has been some mistake but there is no one to say that to. That gorilla guy had lured him in there. But why? Why him? And more importantly how is he going to get out of it?

He covers his face with both hands and indulges in a little breakdown, filled with tears and snot and sometime near the end of it, a strip of light appears under, and faintly outlining a door. Usopp sniffs quietly and stops the quiet noises that had been squeaking out of him, listening as hard as he can. Is it…someone forming a rescue party? Zoro? Luffy? The police? Oh please let it be the police.

“The truck isn’t here yet snk snk snk”

“Wha-a-a-t?” says the long red nosed guy. There is a faint clang. “If we’re late with the shipment there’s going to be trouble. We might even get killed this time. I can’t go on….”

“Snk snk snk”

“Why are you laughing?!”

Yeah! This is no time to be laughing at anyone dying. Usopp doesn’t even want to think about what the shipment might be. He has a feeling it’s going to be him. Oh god. If he had a bobbypin he’d use it to try and pick the lock. Not that he has any idea how or even where it is.

“We should go track it down,” says a voice Usopp hasn’t heard. “There’s only so many roads around here.”

“Good idea.”

Yes! Great idea. While they’re gone Usopp can figure out some way. Maybe he can drag the cage along the floor with his hands and…find some sort of really convenient key that will help him escape! Or maybe some more benevolent guards will be left behind and he can beg for his life! Well probably no guards will be best.

“Nyaa but, Boss,” says a woman in a pouty voice. “Do we really have to sell Lulu? He’s so cute.”

“I know you like him,” says long red nose. “But he’s the prize specimen.”

“Maybe we can turn him on the drivers. snk snk Blame him for us being late.”

“Good idea! Go get him, but be sure to tranquilize him first.”

The door opens and Usopp lays back, playing dead, but keeping his eyes open just a sliver. Enough to see a long glass tube poke in the open doorway and something go flying from it to hit something else in the dark. The growling thing snarls and Usopp is secretly glad that it’s going to be out of the way. A man with a cowboy hat shuffles in and Usopp sees a ring of keys hanging from his belt.

Yes!

Maybe the growly thing will knock him down and send him crashing, spinning the key ring in Usopp’s direction and then he can pick it up and unlock the cage and run from the room hopefully before anyone notices, and brilliantly avoiding the guards hoping they have guns, and go out into the wild desert where he has no idea where to go or how to get home oh god he’s going to die. Still he follows the blond cowboy from under his eyelashes, watching him approach a blacker shape in the dark that looks pretty big. The cowboy nervously fiddles with something and there is the sound of chains falling away and the shape rises, and rises and Usopp’s eyes widen in spite of himself.

Holy shit— that’s huge!

And as it comes into the light, Usopp’s eyes widen even more.

He can’t—he can’t be seeing what he’s seeing. Those kinds of things don’t exist but—
Walking right by his cage, spotted tail twitching irritably, is a were-leopard that’s probably eight - nine feet tall. There is a metal collar around his throat and it walks with a hanging head as if about to fall over any second. The were-leopard looks at him and Usopp starts and looks away.

Only to find he’s looking at someone else. A girl in a cage just like his, looking wide-eyed after the were thing which should not exist. The girl looks at him, starts a bit—then looks toward the were-thing and then quickly back at him as if to say ‘are you seeing what I am seeing? What the hell is this?’

‘I know’ Usopp tries to intimate with a roll of his eyes. ‘I feel like I’m going crazy’. She closes her eyes briefly and when she opens them again, gives him a half lidded look as if to say either:

‘Story of my life’ or ‘I’m going to have a psychotic break now.’

He tries to ask her with a series of twitches and nose wiggles whether or not she happens to have some super secret magnet on hand to draw the keys closer to them so they can make their daring escape but the door clangs shut, casting them in darkness again. The light is still on under the door but he can’t really see her since his eyes aren’t adjusted.

“Hey,” he tries.

“Shh,” She says.

He shushes.

From outside he can hear the woman proclaiming how cute that big scary thing is and the snickering gorilla man telling her she’s weird and then snickering about it. It’s probably the only time in his life he’d ever agree with the gorilla man. Who would name a thing like that Lulu?

The light flicks out. There is quiet for a bit before he can hear the girl rattling around and there are quiet tinking sounds. He fidgets a little. Wanting to ask what she’s doing, who she is, maybe even inquire about the magnet.

“Hey…” he tries again.

“I’m trying to focus,” she whispers back. “Shut up.”

He shuts up. He hears the undeniable sound of chains falling away and his heart jumps. Is he saved? Could…he really be? A squeak of a door opening and a light curse and then…the darker shape of the girl in front of him. He can feel unmanly tears of relief running down his face. He really thought he was going to die. The door squeaks open.

“Give me your feet,” she says. He does and feels the pressure of her hands on the anklet and then the tink tink noise and small vibrations and then they fall away.

“Thank you,” he tries to say in the steadiest voice possible. It’s only shaking because of his excitement of getting out of here.

“Mm,” she says. “Come on.”

He wriggles out of his cage and when he stands finds his legs are like limp noodles underneath him as a curl of dizzyness spins through him.

“Oh man,” he murmurs, rubbing the back of his head and hissing in surprise at the sudden flash of pain. He probably has a concussion. He’s probably three steps away from dying. Oh god…

“Can you walk?” the girl asks.

Oh wait, that’s more important right now. He’ll definitely die if he stays around here much longer. Usopp tries a few steps and finds he can if he’s careful, walking slowly forward and feeling around at hand level so he won’t bark his shin on everything. He doesn’t but manages to meet the wall with his nose pretty hard.

“Ow!”

“Did you find the door?” she asks. “Is it locked?”

He feels his way along to do the door and tries it. It’s not locked surprisingly and swings easily open into the dim hallway. The only light is the glowing red exit signs, glowing like demon eyes on either side of the hall. Not the time to be thinking like that. Things are scary enough.

He leans against the wall and watches the girl come out beside him, watching as she looks around and ultimately following her because she seems to know what she’s doing. She at least seems to be looking for something.

“So uh…got a plan?” he says quietly.

“Of course I do,” she says and he feels immediately relieved. “But first I have to find the office.”

“I-is that really important? I mean, this place is like a maze. Shouldn’t we focus on getting out first?”

“I’m not leaving without going to that office.”

“Yeah…okay…” It isn’t really his place to argue. But maybe something important is in there… Like a map…or a key. A few halls later, Usopp is sure they are fairly lost and is anxious to get out of there before red-nose, gorilla guy and Lulu come back and see them sprung. He’d prefer the desert to facing down that thing.

“Got it,” she whispers and he straightens.

“You found it? Great!” Now they can go in and get out. She puts her hand on the knob, then hesitates and turns toward him.

“By the way, what’s your name?” she asks, her voice shifting into a softer tone. Is this really the right time for that?

“Usopp…”

“Usopp…” she repeats and rests her hands on his shoulders. What? What what? …no really what? His hair seems to curl by itself. “You seem like a big strong man.”

“Which part?” he squeaks. Then clears his throat. “I—I mean of course.” What?

“Can you open that door for me?” she coos. “I think it’s stuck.”

“Oh…uh…okay.” He tries the door. His palm is sweating and it slips. He wipes his palm on his pants and then tries the door again but the door is wet from his palm. He pats around for a handkerchief to get a better grip.

“Open the door!” she hisses.

“I’m getting there!”

What is it with this girl anyway? He turns the knob and seems to hear an extra click as he shoves it open easily enough. Man he is pretty tou-gack!

The girl yanks him back by the cords of his overalls as something goes flying past his nose and embeds itself into the wall. It looks, in this dim light, like a butcher knife. … A butcher knife just flew by his nose. Holy shit! Something is rattling and he realizes its his knees.

“Thought so,” the girl says.

“What do you mean, you thought so?!” Usopp snaps.

“Foxy usually booby traps his doors,” she says slipping around him and flipping on the light.

“You mean you knew and let me do it anyway?!” he snaps again, blinking in the sudden brightness. “What the hell is wrong with you?!”

“Well you said you were a big strong man,” she says, sticking out her tongue at him. “I just took you by your word.”

“Oh yeah…” No, wait. “Oi, not even the biggest strongest man can survive being hit in the face with that thing!” he snaps, pointing a trembling finger at butcher knife still quivering where it is embedded…embedded in the wall.

“Okay, okay, sorry,” she says, sounding not sorry at all as she starts taking pictures off the walls one by one. “Stand watch, alright?”

He wants to say no just because of the almost butcher knife to the face. But then he notices how tired she looks. The cut across her cheek. The black eye. He leans on the doorway, keeping a close eye on the dim halls and folds his arms, trying not to look too hard at the butcher knife. What’s up with this girl anyway. Why was she in a cage. For that matter, why was he? She evidentially knew these people…though he isn’t sure the point of taking the pictures down. Some weird form of revenge.

“So uh…is that your boyfriend?”

“More like former employer. Here we go.”

He glances at her and sees that she’s peering at a wall safe.

“So you know what’s going on with the…” he waves a hand vaguely. “Cages and stuff?” Her face darkens but she doesn’t look at him.

“I don’t know and I don’t care. I came here to do one thing and I’m doing it.”

He probably betrayed her or something. She probably saw something she shouldn’t and that’s why she ended up trapped, too. She drags the chair over to stand on it. It’s a rolly chair and wiggles dangerously underneath her so he sits on the floor and wraps his hands around the base to keep it still. He keeps his gaze on the door, both as a caution and so he won’t accidentally see something he shouldn’t see.

“Thanks,” she says. “What’s your story? You don’t look like a fighter.”

Then what was with that big strong man shtick?

“Yeah I’m…I was here with some friends…” Were they friends? Where were they? Had they seen he wasn’t there and split? If they wanted him around, they would have come back right? Maybe they’re on their way. Yeah. Maybe they noticed him gone and realized he was in trouble and…got lost or something and are coming back. And maybe flying monkeys would pop out from behind the desk and start singing ‘hakuna matata’.

“They’re not here any more, huh?”

He shrugs. He guesses not.

“That should teach you to associate with criminal types. All they do is use you and leave you.” There is a click and he jumps.

“It’s just the safe. Relax.”

And he does. She might be right, though, he thinks as he absently watches a large roll of money drop into his lap. Then another and a third. They didn’t really look like criminals and he didn’t like to think of Luffy as anything like that but—wait wait wait.

“What are you doing?” he asks, looking at the growing pile of money.

“Getting my pay.”

“They owe you this much?”

“Yep.”

A few more bank rolls and he can feel his hair curl again. This girl—

“What the heck did you do for them?”

“What the hell?!” says a new voice by the door. Usopp freezes. Oh…right…keeping watch. He creeaks his head around, seeing two beefy guys peeking into the room frowning. He laughs weakly and waves his hand.

“Oh we’re just safe repairmen. Your safe was squeaky.”

“Right?” the girl says with a laugh. Then: “Bye!” and she jumps off the chair and bolts out the door.

“Oi, oi, oi! Wait up!” Usopp cries, scrambling to his feet. The big beefy guys reach for him and he avoids them through sheer luck, running as fast as he can. Oh shit oh shit oh shit he’s going to die. The girl darts around a corner and he follows her, catching up so they are running shoulder to shoulder.

“Stop following and defend me!” she snaps.

“How the hell can I do that?! My arms are like dry noodles!”

Another guy screeches into place at the end of the hall, swinging a metal bat at them. Usopp throws himself backwards, sliding under it and watches the girl dive under it, rolling to her feet before running again. He catches up a second time.

“Don’t you have any ideas?!” she says.

“Why should I?!” And then as they dive around the corner he sees a fire extinguisher on the wall. He snatches it off, yanks out the pin and then dives back into view of the three guys tearing down the hall. He waits until they’re close enough before yelling and pressing down on the depressor, adrenaline screaming through him making him feel a little like Rambo. Slippery foam bursts from the hose, spraying the floor and walls and the faces of the beefy guys. They fall like a row of pins and, screaming, slide down the halls.

Usopp tosses the fire extinguisher in a surge of feeling damn awesome and dusts off his hands. The girl grins at him and gives him a thumbs up.

“Nice.”

“Right?” Usopp says, putting his hands on his hips. The guys crash into the door at the end of the hall which opens and…more guys look out. Lots and lots of guys. Some of them gleaming with weapons.
Oh…perfect...

“Get ‘em!” a voice says.

“IYAAAAAAA!” his own scream is echoed in a much higher pitch and they are running again.

“This is crazy!” the girl shrieks. “Why did you throw it away?!”

“It seemed like a good idea at the time!”

They were running. Running and running. They had to think of something else to do and quick. They couldn’t keep up with this. Already his heart felt like it was going to explode like a bird out of his chest. They were going to die. They were so going to die. They came to a stop. Or more like a dead end. There was a wide room here with the only entrance the one they just slid into. There’s a bank of windows, though. The strong kind and not sugared glass like actors burst through.

“Go on,” the girl murmurs, glancing toward the windows. Right. Maybe he can unlock them if he really hurries. He scrambles up on a chair to try to work the lock as he sees the guys filter in the room behind them. There have to be at least fifty of them. Oh hell. He wants to cry. This is so nuts.

“I can’t go on....,” the girl says, and in the reflection, Usopp sees her sink to her knees.
“O-oi,” he says. She can’t give up yet! She’s unbuttoning the top two buttons of her shirt and Usopp freezes, watching her, the other guys do too. What…? Just what?

“Please,” she says. “I’ll pay for it.”

“Hey wait…” Usopp hops down from the chair and freezes again when the lead guy comes closer. Grinning. The girl’s hand moves almost faster than Usopp can follow and he watches her snap a metal rod together and slam it up between the leader's legs with a sound like a gong. Usopp flinches.

“As if,” she says. Then immediately vaults to her feet and cracks him across the face with the rod, sending him sprawling to the ground. Usopp grins. Double thumbs up.

“Nice!”

“Open the damn window!” she snaps. Oh right! Shit! Usopp scrambles up onto the chair, nearly falls off it, then gets back on it again, working the latch and then trying to slide it around. He can see the girl in the reflection, short orange hair flying as she tries to defend their position. She’s strong but looks so tiny. Some guy is coming to her unguarded shoulder with a bit of pipe.

“Hey watch out!” He cries.

She turns.

Right into it.

Time seems to slow as the pipe cracks her right in the face, sending her flying and then crashing onto the floor, the metal rod rolling from her hand.

Someone is screaming.

Usopp realizes that it’s him. He doesn’t care. Blood is singing hot in his ears as he picks up the chair and charges the guy, smashing it into his shoulder. The guy growls and then kicks him in the chest hard. Usopp gags and flies back, slamming onto the floor beside the girl and immediately rolling onto her to protect her as more kicks come.

“Who do you think you are stealing from us?!” one of the men says. There’s a sharp kick to his side. Another to the small of his back.

“We’ll teach you!” Something heavy smashes him in the shoulders and he grits his teeth.

Oh god. They’re going to die. They’re going to—

“What is that?!”

Usopp looks up just before two windows smash in, glass flying in in slow motion, shining in the light.

Luffy lands on the floor, skidding a little on his sandals. Zoro lands on the other side, not so much skidding as shifting into a fighting stance. They are both covered in cuts. Luffy’s lifts a hand to his face and wipes away a smudge of blood with his thumb.

“Who are—” the pipe man says before Luffy takes two steps punches him square in the face. The man flies back, teeth flying out like pearls, clearing almost the whole room before skidding to a limp stop.

“Heh,” Zoro says, unsheathing the white sword and putting the hilt in his mouth (wait what?): “You picked the wrong guy to fuck with.”

Usopp pulls himself up the best he can and watches them clear the room between the two of them. Even dripping blood as they are. Luffy with his fists and feet and Zoro with…three swords…somehow. Then he comes to his senses and checks on the girl.

“Hey…are you awake? Can you hear me?”

She doesn’t seem to be. He feels for a pulse and finds it’s there but can’t really tell anything other than she has one. He looks up now and again to see guys falling left and right. One guy gets Luffy in the stomach and Usopp yelps as he raises what looks like a machete only Zoro comes speeding by and cutting the blade in half and then Luffy bounces to his feet, grabs the guys’ face with both hands and headbutts him. There is a crack and the guy falls bonelessly.

Soon everyone is down for the count except Luffy and Zoro. The green haired man flicks what looks like blood from his swords and sheathes them. Luffy is coming up to them, face shadowed and expression hard to read. Usopp swallows, wondering whether he should start running again. But when Luffy crouches in front of him, Usopp can see he’s grinning.

“Sorry about that, Usopp,” he says. “We thought you went back to the car and when we realized you were gone we tried to find you but got lost.”

“But you’re just a mile down the road,” Usopp says, as if that’s the most important thing. Luffy laughs, brightly as if he didn’t just jump through a window and maul a bunch of guys.

“Yeah, but Zoro’s an idiot.”

“Oi.”

“Anyway, what happened?” Luffy asks.

It’s like someone else is explaining about the the phone call and the gorilla guy and the cages. Luffy’s face darkens at that.

“Are there any more cages?”

Usopp blinks at the question and it takes a moment to process what he’d actually asked before he slowly shakes his head.

“I don’t know.”

“I’ll go look,” Luffy says, standing. “Zoro.”

“Got it, Captain.”

At first Usopp thinks Zoro is going to leave with him. Leave them alone where any one of these guys can wake up. Someone on the floor moans and Zoro kicks him absently before making his way over to them, resting his arm on his swords.

“Captain?” Usopp asks blankly.

“Yeah. Why not?” Zoro crouches beside him and looks at the girl. “Is she okay?”

“I dunno…”
---

The next few hours slip by in a weird blur and Usopp feels only half there for most of it. Luffy says something about dead people in cages and that he doesn’t like this place. Eventually Usopp ends up sitting outside with the unconscious girl resting against him, watching Luffy and Zoro pull all the guys they trammeled outside to set them in a heap well away from the warehouse.

“Burn it?” Zoro asks.

“Yeah,” Luffy says, voice steel. At first Usopp thinks he means the guys, but then realizes he means the warehouse. It seems to take forever but soon fire is roaring up the sides of the building and racing over the walls. Usopp watches them approach, emotions warring tiredly inside him.

“Guess we’ll take her with us,” Luffy says.

“She needs a hospital,” Usopp says.

“Yeah. Can you walk?”

He doesn’t even know if he can feel his legs. He nods though and stands as Luffy gently takes the girl and hefts her onto his back. Usopp takes a few steps and his legs threaten to shake out from under him. He doesn’t want to be left behind. Zoro glances at him but Usopp shakes his head. He can make it. Luffy grins at him, the glow of the fire flickering over the girl’s orange hair and the brim of his hat.

“You came back,” Usopp says.

“Of course,” Luffy says. “We’re nakama.”

Usopp’s legs go out from under him. He’s not crying only smoke got in his eyes.

“Come on,” Zoro says.

“I can walk,” Usopp says, pretending his voice didn’t squeak just then even as he hefts himself onto Zoro’s offered back.

“Sure,” Zoro says, lifting him and Luffy laughs again.

“When everyone gets better,” Luffy says, looking up at the stars. “We should have a party.”

“For what?” Usopp asks. Luffy grins and shrugs.

“Anything at all.”

And to Usopp, that sounds like the best idea in the world.